Sunday, July 17, 2011

What I Promised...

Hi All,
   So last time I posted I said I would come back later and post a couple of things I had on my mind. So today I am finally able to do this. So here it goes...

   The first thing on my mind is this....

   I think I might have Adult ADD. I have been thinking about this for about a year or so. The symptoms seem to fit and if I do have it, it would explain my whole life. I have such a hard time in school, even now. Its hard for me to focus and I get distracted easily. I can't sit still. Its extremely hard for me to finish anything, and I can't make up my mind on what I want to do when I'm done with college. I graduate in September and I'm scared as hell. I've not talked to anyone about this extreme fear that I won't be able to find what I want to do with my life and make a good try at it. The reason I haven't told anyone is because 1) its embarrassing, and 2) I really don't have anyone to talk too, that would understand. Most of my friends who I would talk to will just try to tell me how to fix the problem instead of just listening to what I'm saying. Or they say, you will be fine. I hate hearing that because how do they know I will be fine? They don't know what's in store for me and I just feel like my feelings are invalidated when I am told that. I have one friend who I mostly email who lives in WI. I have told her the surface fear but not the deep dark fear inside of me which I don't know how to say out loud or even begin to explain. I actually have an appointment Tuesday to go talk to my doctor about this. I've been wanting to talk to her about this for awhile but was to afraid. In my psychology class, my teacher has ADHD and I can relate to a lot of things he talks about. We are also doing a project in psychology class and I'm doing mine on ADHD in hopes of possibly finding answers for myself. I'm not sure that I have the hyperactivity part, but it could be combined I'm not sure. I just want answers so that I can understand the way I feel.

The second thing on my mind is this...

Facebook. Is there really a point for it in my life? I have also been contemplating this for awhile. Then I read another blog of a woman who is taking a break from Facebook. And I wonder if I could do this also. I'm not sure if I could. I agree with what she talks about as far as stress being caused by Facebook. I also play Frontierville and am close to blocking that first just to see how it goes. I feel anxious thinking about the fact that I HAVE to go on my homestead everyday to finish quests or get rewards. One problem is that I am addicted to the game and I'm level 80 so feel like I have done A LOT of work to just throw it away. Another thought though is that between Mary and I we have six Facebook accounts just so we can play games on four of them. I could always play on one or more of these if I really needed a Frontierville fix. Right now I'm just sick of the game and how it takes up so much time. I'm tired of having to go through and accept all of the gifts from my gift box and off the wall, in order to finish quests. It takes up so much time and energy. Maybe its time to let it go. As far as Facebook itself I'm not sure. There are people I only keep in contact through there. Then there are people I have on there I NEVER talk too. Those people I don't think I need to have on there anymore. Then there are all the friends I have to play games. I don't really need any of these people if I get rid of Frontierville. I want to cut some people from my Facebook and only keep people I actually talk to on there. My thing is what if later I want to go back to Frontierville and then I have gotten rid of all those people? Then I have to find friends to play again. So how do I know if I making the right decision or not?  I am hoping that maybe if I got rid of some of my distractions, maybe I would have time to read or do artsy stuff or other things I want to do that I am too distracted with other things to actually do. I want to try and weed distractions out of my life but I'm not sure how or where to start. I guess I am thinking if I start with Facebook, maybe I'll figure the rest out with time.

So those are the two things I promised to talk about. I think it has helped me to get it out. We'll see what happens.

Hope you are all enjoying the summer!

Love & Peace

1 comment:

  1. I found this book helpful to understanding life purpose:
    Memories of the Afterlife: Life Between Lives Stories of Personal Transformation

    Dr. Newton has several books that are great if you want to take a "scientific" view of life between lives. I have read them all. But the one I recommend is the most easy to read and is very life affirming.

    Much love.